I'm Proud to be an American

May 25, 2020 Rory Hartmann

“The emblem of, the land I love, the home of the free and the brave!” Certain songs, like this one, evoke emotions so deeply instilled in my being they will forever be part of who I am. To many these songs are just lyrics, just words assembled to a catchy tune or entertaining rhythm. However, the right phrase pulling from history or life experiences literally has me fighting off tears with every playing. Growing up in a military family, I’m sure had some influence, yet I think it goes deeper. I think my appreciation of this country stems from understanding the true meaning of freedom and the impact it’s had on my life!

“There are “some rough times in the neighborhood, but why can’t everyday feel just this good? (It’s a Great Day to Be Alive, Travis Tritt)” At the ripe old age of 10, maybe 11, I had to fend for myself. My siblings and I had to figure out how to co-exist without parental supervision 90% of the time. I learned to do my own laundry, make “meals” if you could call them that. I lived some days without electricity, some days without running water, some Christmas’s without gifts, and some days without food because I knew we didn’t have money, so I didn’t ask. Although, at the time, I felt envious of my peers who got to go shopping for new school clothes, who got to go on vacation, who received an allowance, or simply went out to eat, I try to put my childhood in perspective. I was cared for! I was not abused or molested! I always had a roof over my head! I always had clothing, even if it wasn’t the most stylish! I was never malnourished even if sometimes we ate less than a typical family. At times, the emotions and hormones of a teenager definitely led me to feeling sorry for myself, but I knew I would not live like this forever. I chose to find outcomes for myself. I chose to avoid fights because I didn’t want those consequences. I chose to study instead of go out with friends, at times of course. I knew I would do everything I could to ensure I did not have the same anxiety and challenges that my parents had, regardless of the reason. It is said that in order to avoid poverty one must do three simple things. I decided early on I would complete these and not look back! As I’ve become a parent we will share this knowledge and any additional knowledge that may come out that helps our child’s future so he and any more children may have the freedom to choose the life in which they want for themselves. As Lee Greenwood sings,

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I worked for all my life
And I had to start again
With just my children and my wife

I thank my lucky stars
To be living here today
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
And they can't take that away

And I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you
And defend Her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt
I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
To the hills of Tennessee
Across the plains of Texas
From sea to shining sea

From Detroit down to Houston
And New York to L.A.
Where's pride in every American heart
And it's time we stand and say

That I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you
And defend Her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt
I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

THREE STEPS NEEDED TO AVOID POVERTY:

1) Obtain your high school diploma

2) Obtain and hold a job for at least 2 years

3) Wait until age 21 and get married before having a baby

Choices, Consequences, & Children

February 6, 2020 Rory Hartmann

There has been quite the commotion over Super Bowl LIV (2020’s) halftime show. Regardless of your opinion it boils down to choice. The choice of an adult and the choice of a parent.

As an adult you can choose to watch or not to watch those ladies shake it enthusiastically. You can admire and maybe even aspire to learn those dance moves, become motivated to develop a workout routine, or research how the heck a 50 year old’s body is just THAT DARN SMOKIN’ (please share secrets). As adults we have the ability to use our frontal cortex (the area in the brain involved directly or indirectly in the control of almost every behavior). According to this article, “the frontal lobes, home to key components of the neural circuitry underlying “executive functions” such as planning, working memory, and impulse control, are among the last areas of the brain to mature; they may not be fully developed until halfway through the third decade of life [2].” If that’s the case, then at almost 33 I am just now learning to control my impulses. Perhaps now I can avoid my spending at Target. In all seriousness, most of us adults are capable of making our own decisions and will have to accept the outcomes, sometimes consequences, which follow the decisions.

As a child, is he/she yet capable of making those decisions? The child may say “yes,” but science says no. This memory is forever stamped into my brain. I was six or seven years of age and my brother and his friends were about to watch Stephen King’s original movie “It.” Call it peer pressure, or wanting to be included, but I BEGGED my parents to let me watch the movie with them. Finally my parents succumbed to my request and I actually wish they hadn’t. I replayed that scene in my head over and over and over as a child. I have since learned that children replay scenarios that they don’t understand to try and understand them. As a side note, this repetition could also be used for good, i.e.: role playing what to say and how to overcome a friend not wanting to play with you. However, to this day, I cannot walk over or even near a stupid rain grate without thinking of that movie and that little boy in that fictional movie. As an adult, I have chosen to avoid all scary movies, even previews of scary movies, because I just don’t want my mind replaying images that frighten me or cause worry. The problem solver in me knows I could seek out therapists or mind activities to address this deep seeded issue from childhood, but at least for now, my avoidance is working fine. However, for those little ones that have yet been exposed to images that they don’t understand, are we confusing them? Is it contradictory to demonstrate admiration of a sexy adult woman that is shaking her booty vigorously and opening her legs spread eagle wearing a tiny strap of fabric over an area many of us teach is private/precious/personal? On a separate note, kudos to those artists for designing an outfit without malfunction issues….see Super Bowl XXXVIII Janet Jackson. Is it sending mixed signals when you purchase sexy, short booty shorts or half shirts for your tween and then get angry when strangers stare at her? I don’t know when it started, but I can remember even during my adolescents that “sexy” was what I wanted to be. As an awkward lanky, pale (my husband would say “fair” – thank you hun), redhead, with glasses, and braces I was FAR from sexy. My main goal since I could remember, maybe 3rd or 4th grade was becoming “sexy” not “cute” but “sexy.” In retrospect, although I had fun in childhood I wonder how things would have been different if I wasn’t in such a rush to grow-up.

Regardless of the choice you make for yourself, perhaps it’s worth your time to consider the choices you are making for your adolescent who hasn’t yet fully develop their ability to understand their choices (even though they think they do). Is your decision something that is going to affect them for the rest of their lives? Although I try very hard to always do the right thing, I know I can’t be perfect. So, even with this advice I’ve been telling myself this can be a teachable moment for either me, my son, or both of us! Each day presents a different answer, but I try to remind myself that my frontal cortex is developed and his is not!

Cheers to the never ending parenting choices,

#thisiswhyiwaitedsolongtohavekids

Sarah

Choose Gratefulness - Your Perspective

February 6, 2020 Rory Hartmann

I debated writing this in Freedom or Family & Friends, but ultimately decided here:

I thrive on accomplishing things. The smallest completion to the largest. It’s just oh so wonderful when I’m multitasking and finish 17 different tasks during the same day. Since having a child, completing tasks, sometimes even changing clothes doesn’t happen.

The other day I found myself complaining about getting up and preparing my son’s breakfast and let’s be honest, my coffee, all before he starts whining. Then it hit me… my great grandmother had to get up early, how early you ask? Who knows, but early enough to:

get appropriately dressed for the weather,
go outside,
chop the wood,
to make the fire,
to heat the stove,
to begin preparing a meal from scratch

WHAT?!!?

I often forget how fortunate I am that I live in the 21st century, with all of our inventions that allow us to enjoy ourselves rather than merely survive. I forget that we have a microwave to heat up pre-packaged meals, I forget that we have running water and a filtration system so I don’t have to be sparse or worried about with my usage of clean water. I forget we have electricity and gas, that with the small switch I can create heat and fire in an instant.

In the news and sometimes out and about I hear people complain about America. It’s hard for me to understand their complaints when I know anyone living legally in the United States have the freedom to do nearly anything we choose (given harm is not done to another). We can choose from so many things…

We have amazing chefs working fabulous restaurants we can purchase any type of food from fast & cheap to 8 course expensive cuisine,

If the type of food is not available, supply will demand it and capitalism will allow creation to come to fruition,

We have access to libraries to help us expand our knowledge and our understanding,
We have access to start over financially when our overindulgence and irresponsibility gets the best of us. In some countries, you go to prison until debts have been satisfied/worked,
We have freedoms to have as many children as we wish (or don’t wish to have),
We have accessibility to countless churches of various beliefs,
We have accessibility to countless charities to help us when in need,

We have exceptional health care facilities available to fight for us when we don’t know how Just like my great grandmother who instilled a work ethic in my grandmother, my mother, and now me, I have the freedom to choose to care for my family, regardless of the steps necessary to complete. I choose to wake up early (on some days) and tackle whatever difficulties lay before. I do this not only for me but for example I wish to set for my family. Those examples aren’t always accomplishing 17 tasks in a day, but sometimes demonstrating that slowing down and experiencing the moment is the best thing to do!

Sarah

The Power of Choice

May 13, 2018 Rory Hartmann

For our first freedom blog, let’s address the power of choice. In my opinion, this is the foundation of freedom. My biggest concern with people’s infatuation with government involvement is that it first and foremost, eliminates the power of choice AND doesn’t hold anyone accountable for their actions.

I live in Nashville, TN where the city just had a vote about implementing a $9,000,000,000 mass transit bill that would have taken 14 years to complete (Or so they said and as you know, the government is never as efficient as they project so it would probably have taken more like 16-18 years or more and cost more like $12,000,000,000-$15,000,000,000) and raise certain taxes. Fortunately, the bill failed. I’m happy not because I don’t want a better method of transportation in my city, I’m glad because the bill would have eliminated choice from people and here is how, this bill would have raised sales taxes, and other taxes, in Nashville until the year 2068. Let me repeat that in case you think it’s a typo, 2068 of increased sales tax to the highest sales tax of any major city in the United States. Well, as someone that will not be using the transit system a whole lot (I realize that I may use it more than I expect, but with the exception of visiting New York City, I’ve hitchhiked more than ridden public transportation because it’s more efficient), an additional 1.5% tax on EVERYTHING I purchase for 50 years seems a little unfair because now I don’t have a choice in paying for this deal or not. I would have a choice of using the system but I have to pay for it’s construction, and then to use it, I have to pay for it again. Seems like nonsense to me because basically what is happening, is that the powers that be (The government) wants to FORCE me to pay more money for EVERYTHING I buy, whether essential or non-essential, so that they can build this system and then charge me to use it.

I realize there is a traffic problem in Nashville and everyone wants something to be done about it. But why with the government is it always adding new taxes and programs? Why not incentivize people to not drive as much. For example, if the state said they would lower property taxes for married couples/multiple owners that only have one car in the household, I would consider selling one of our cars and sharing just one car. What if the city said they would lower taxes for businesses that have a certain percentage of employees work from home? Seems like a simple yet smart and a win-win situation for both employees and employers.

The magic of the above thought (Tax example) is that we now have a choice, pay more or pay less. Granted, the goal of tax rates in my opinion is to get close to zero but, instead if we steer people in the direction by helping instead of hurting them, who knows what would happen. This is after all how the United States became a world power and is why bonuses work so well for sales people and employees. They can choose to work harder and earn more money or not to. But again, with taxes, there is no incentive to be better, there is not choice about whether to buy something or not, it is a FORCED hit on your wallet and life.

If I go to a store and I don’t like the customer service (Similar to the DMV) I’ll stop going there and go somewhere else (Even though with the DMV, I have to go there if I want to drive). If everything I buy is subject to a tax, it doesn’t matter where I go I will have to pay for that tax, which is bullshit and Un-American!

Rory